Opting Out of Resistance

Your experience of resistance is intensely personal and as intimate as the voice in your head. What if you could opt out, choose your way past it? Would you? Could you? That’s what this week’s blog post is all about.

Step 1: Recognize it

Do you recognize when resistance shows up in your business and life? Is it numbness and apathy? Or procrastination and avoidance? Is it perfectionism and obsessing over the details? Or finding so much busywork that you’re completely distracted from the real work? Maybe it’s that quiet desperation of wanting to give up. Or maybe you jump from one project to the next so fast you never give yourself a chance to experience success? Or maybe it’s any host of very real physical symptoms that show up just when you get serious about doing your thing consistently or in a bigger way.

Once you can see it, you can face it. What’s your style of resistance?

Step 2: Understand it

Resistance is just a comfortable coating on top of fear. If you want to move through it you need to figure out the fear beneath it. Just like our experience of resistance is intensely personal the fears beneath it are just as individualized and intimate. Fears of failure, success, judgement, rejection, visibility, being good enough, being seen as a fraud/or not taken seriously. Having other discover that you actually have no idea what you’re doing and your really just figuring it out as you go - like all of us. These are all common fears that roar they way into our work trying to keep us safe.

What are yours?

Step 3: Give it Love

How can you show love to the fear that’s arising? It’s showing up as an opportunity for you to do the work so you can move beyond it. Burying it or ignoring it NEVER works. It’ll only come back louder or differently or more insistently next time.

If it was your girlfriend sitting next to you confiding all her fears to you, what would you do? You’d listen. You’d remind her how awesome she is. And you’d give her some amazing advice. Just the medicine/reassurance she needed to hear. Do the same thing to yourself. Journal it. Meditate it. Talk to yourself in the mirror. Find a way that works for you.

Be compassionate with yourself while setting some clear boundaries for your fears (ie they don’t get to run the show or slow down your progress anymore).

Step 4: Choose Differently

What if [insert your style of resistance here] wasn’t an option anymore? What if procrastination wasn’t an option anymore? What if numbing out wasn’t an option anymore? What if resistance was a choice? A choice to stay stuck or a choice to discover and let go of the fear that’s holding you back? What would you choose?

Then, invite in the wonder.

Stick to your goal but invite the wonder of outcomes that are better and beyond what you can imagine.

Keep going and wonder what possibilities you’ll open yourself up to by discovering what’s on the other side of your resistance.