Entrepreneurship Will Challenge All Your Beliefs
This week I had someone tell me they expected me to take 20 - 70k less than was my share. Because that worked better for them...obviously. The deal is far from over. Negotiations have barely begun, so you'll have to forgive me for being purposefully vague about the details.
I reacted instinctively with fear & anxiety. That's A LOT of money. I argued. My heart began to beat fiercely in my chest. My stomach felt queasy. My voice took on that "don't-mess-with-me-I-mean-business-tone" reserved for naughty children or misbehaving students. Funny how it's been nearly a decade since I was in the classroom but some things you just never forget. I stated my case clearly...rationally.
And only remembered to breathe when it was over.
I remembered that this guy doesn't actually call all the shots...also after it was over.
I remembered to TRUST that when everything is said & done things will work out exactly the way they're meant to. I remembered to have hope...after he left the room.
And after consulting my girlfriends, I remembered my power too. That I had options in this negotiation as well. Options that completely flew out of my mind once the fear & anxiety stepped in.
It only took minutes for me to relax & return to centre. That's massive progress for me. Last year, I probably would've felt sick to my stomach about an encounter like that for days.
Entrepreneurship has challenged every belief I've ever had - about myself, my life, the world & the way things work. It's given me the opportunity to critically examine what I thought about work, money, relationships, control, time, productivity, self-doubt, literally all the things.
It's shown me I have far greater power than I EVER realised. Not only to shape my business & the work that I do. But the way I structure my day. The people I surround myself with. And the way I respond to life (clearly that last one is still a work in progress).
And it's given me my voice back.
The latest challenge is a big one. Or it feels big...massive. It's trust. It's releasing the instinctive fear-based reaction to confrontation & trusting that I'll know what to do & what to say & that ultimately everything will be okay. And breathing, remembering to breathe is essential.
You see, it can be SO exhausting to pretend to have it all together. To be constantly in control of your business & personal life. Like white-knuckling the steering wheel while driving down a major highway. Your muscles tensed the ache spreads up your arms, across your shoulders, down your back, into your hips & legs...until your entire body is on high alert. Always tense. Trying to stay in control. Trying to hide behind being "organized" or "perfect" or always "hustling" or being "financially secure".
What if we could soften? What if we could trust in life's flow & have faith in divine timing?
That's not an excuse to stop working. It's an excuse to relax into the work with joy & playfulness.
What if you believed that everything would be okay? Really truly believed it at your core? Without a gnawing fear or scratching doubt to erode the sureness of that knowledge?
My knee-jerk reaction is still fear but I'm learning to trust more every day.
I believe that when we can shrug off the shackles of the conditioning that no longer serves us it leaves room for greater freedom, joy & support to find its way into our lives.
I'm grateful that entrepreneurship has given me a path to grow as a human being. After all, expansion is the whole point. I just never imagined THIS was how I would do it.
I'd love to hear what conditioning/beliefs you've let go of since becoming an entrepreneur if you feel comfortable sharing in the comments below.